We all know this common phrase that, “you don’t get what you want, you only get what you deserve”, but let me boil it and let you know more specifically that when it comes to individual interactions, “you neither get what you want nor what you deserve, what you end up with, is what you are able to negotiate.” It’s weird how reality plays out and how almost all of us always end up in The I Want Group, The I Deserve Group and The I Have Group.
If you don’t know what you want !!! just stop here and do something else, if else lets roll in fellas …
The I Want Group
Since life is full of ferry tales, its like “hadithi za alinacha”, it’s possible for a person to wish for almost anything, including turning into a monkey and been able to jump from one tree to another. Therefore wishful thinking has created a huge category of individuals whom they spent almost their entire life talking and dreaming about what they want but they spent zero time to actually negotiate in order to have what they want.
The I Deserve Group
So apart from just wanting something you have taken some steps or initiatives to confront those who can offer what you want, then went through negotiation process and finally you had what you wanted. BUT!!! due to your limited understanding of negotiation process you have paid an insane price to just have what you want. In long-run you gonna regret when you will find how poorly your negotiation skills were and everyone will fill like you Deserved More, but it will be too late.
The I Have Group
This individuals know what they want, spent enough time to negotiate and act based on what they want. And here is the crucial thing, they have acquired a form of mindset which allows them to negotiate and own what they want in a manner that they will never regret about what they negotiated in their past. This guys have master the art of negotiation.
Strange Stone 💎 = 🥘
When most of us face the negotiation process we are like hungry man having a strange stone in hand, and know almost nothing about it, all he knows is, “this is the strange stone” but why? how? or when it can be useful, is a mystery to him. On the other hand, the man you are negotiating with have a plate full of delicious food with a nice aroma. All you have to do, is to handle him the stone and have the food. Believe me, even if the stone is pure gold or diamond, if you don’t know it’s value, you will exchange food for the strange stone.
But let us check something more practical …
“Get The Job” Fallacy
Let say you really want some money to afford the living and you get some clue that there is a certain job from a certain company, they are looking for people like you. You applied for it and you have achieved to attend the interview, I call it NEGOTIATION PHASE 1. Since you are desperate all you are focusing on is BIG SALARY and commissions in exchange for YOUR TIME and SKILLS. By the way you even don’t even know how to turn the time you have into money. So, you seems to be happy coz they pay you some chunk of money but after a while regardless of have the salary you start to feel like something is still missing. But out of nowhere, again, those guys, decides to welcome you to NEGOTIATION PHASE 2, promotion to new position, Oh! Yeah! You start to feel invincible again hahah... but after a while again the feeling that something is missing kicks in, as usual you will have the chance to attend NEGOTIATION PHASE 3 where you can have new job or new position from similar job. This is what happens for majority of individuals, as time goes on the negotiation processes will proceed over and over, until when an individual realize they almost own nothing and nothing at all from all activities they have been doing for 5 or more years.
So, what is a missing thing? No Matter How Skillful You Are or How Long You Will Work For The Company, You Own Nothing And Nothing At All Within The Company and this is largely due to how the negotiation process is structured. That’s a harsh, reality nobody tells you when you NEGOTIATE for the job position. It’s like renting the house, no matter how skillful or creative you are, on the place you live, that alone will never turn you to be the owner of the house. So, who own the job and companies we are working on and what kind of mentality do they have ?
Unless an individual learn an alternative means of negotiation it’s really hard for him to own his activities or business. Same to how almost all job hunters speak the similar language, almost all business owners speak similar language. It’s simple like flipping the coin but tricky like catching bats in the night sky. Check this …
●While a job hunter is constantly searching and negotiating for new jobs and better salaries.
●Business owners constantly search and negotiate for Available Investments and Shares and compare the returns on those investments.
●While job hunters focus on filling their CVs with various experiences to have opportunity to negotiate for better jobs. 📑
●Business owners fill their portfolios with shares and investments to access negotiation chances of bigger credits from banks.
You can go on and on, and discover more of it, but remember this, it’s always begin with HOW DO YOU CONSTANTLY NEGOTIATE ?.
So, is negotiating for job vacant a wrong thing to do, Hell No! The main but less obvious challenge is the mindset of the negotiator. When your enter with negotiation process without clear understanding of your values it always put you a risky zone. So before entering into any negotiation,
1. Know what you have and the value of what you have
2. Know what you want and the price you are willing to pay
3. Have a long term picture and be fine to live the deal which contradict your values.
All being said, the key thing to always remember is THE KIND OF MINDSET WE HAVE during most of your negotiation processes and that can begin with kind of LANGUAGE your constantly use. It’s needs time and effort but its possible and worth practicing. So, you can opt to change that Language or keep playing monkey games, jumping from this tree to another.